It is what it is though and I would not trade a single second of it for the coolest, greatest job in the world. Yea, a better paycheck then what freelance writing gives would be pretty nice (more like pretty damn nice), but I feel like I've gotten something pretty damn valuable in return.
I've got to watch my kiddos grow up.
Yeah, it has been the most incredibly difficult challenge of my life and like none I ever thought I would face--and I love it. There is just something about the little squeeze Jackson gives me out of the blue; Addison walking up behind me and sticking her head in my shirt; seeing them laugh because of something I did...
Watching them sleep during a nap...talk about appreciating time to yourself!
It's been hard. Both kiddos have autism caused by this messed up syndrome; banana, rubacabra chupacabre--BRRS. Whatever the darn name of it is doesn't matter. The important thing is that it is a mutation of the PTEN gene. It is hereditary, so it had to come from either me or Nikki (or it could have started with one of them).
It was me.
Sigh.
That has actually been a good thing though. Since I've had this thing my whole life--and I appear to be all good--then the future for these guys is going to be fine. It's just the first few years are going to be something else since there is a developmental delay involved.
Anyway...the whole point of this post was to say that one of these days I am going to keep up with this blog and post little funny stories about what has happened or does happen to me and the kiddos as I do that parenting thing. I kept a journal for the first year of Jack's life; up till when Addie was born, I might use that for a few posts as well.
As I've typed this post out I've realized that this blog is actually going to serve another purpose. It's going to be my own, not-so-private (since anyone online can read it) therapy. Just like you never know how much you know about something till you try to teach another, seeing your life in writing (and writing it) gives you a perspective on things that you can't quite see while your living it.
Hmmm...I just might have to make sure that the next one of these days isn't too far away.
